This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
