the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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