You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
