SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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