Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Are we still banned from the library?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
