Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
