After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I think people are normalizing furries
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
