Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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