So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
