'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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