no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
