True but thats because hes a fetus.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
