I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
