he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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