i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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