Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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