It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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