You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
He kissed a someone with a penis
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
