just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
