Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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