Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
