We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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