he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
