Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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