Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
