If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
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