shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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