she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
