Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
