I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
