My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm sobbing to NWA
‪So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?‬
Randomize
