how hairy? two words: wookie tits
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
