im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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