i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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