i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
