Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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