She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
