I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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