i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
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