all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
