he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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