my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
