Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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