I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
