why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
