I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I have aggressive nipples.
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