Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
