is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
