we're blogging at a bar
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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