I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
