Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
