what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
