Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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